Offer Good for a Limited Time Only

IN THE FUTURE there will be MORE!!! rather than less. In addition to MORE!!! there will be other many new and wonderful things, such as but not limited to NEW & IMPROVED!!! and FREE GIFT WITH PURCHASE!!! and NOW 25% LARGER!!! People will look around themselves and see MORE!!! They will be so elated at this quantitative and magnitudinal advancement that they will dance in the streets, until the police arrive to club them into submission. Even with severe injuries, such as skull fractures and internal bleeding, revelers will rejoice in the plenitude and in the promise of yet even MORE!!! to come. They will kiss the officers on the lips like brethren until they are arraigned.

People, having grown tired of dearth and deprivation, will jut elbows, conspiratorially, into their neighbors' sweet spots and say [the ones to the others]: "Do you remember those days when there was not MORE!!! but only less?" The neighbors will laugh uproariously together, in the manner of reunited friends, so much so that a flute-like fart will escape their sphincters, but the notes therein achieved will harmonize. All across the world, in the splendor of the shadow of MORE!!!, such scenes will be duplicated, with only metric displacements in time and tone, until altogether this mellifluous parade of flatulence will accomplish so sublime a rendition of Chopin's Nocturne No. 1 in B flat minor (Op. 9 No.1) that longtime enmities will be salved and former opponents will weep in each others arms. Everyone together will then bare their naked bodies, relieved of Edenic shame, and flail about, as if enraptured, within and among hillocks of MORE!!! which will vanish deep into the horizon like so many echoing undulations of the sea.

It is verily unfortunate that we speculators shall all have long solved the mysteries of death before the advent of MORE!!! Perhaps our children's children's children, or even another generation hence, shall arrive at the most opportune confluence of events which will finally deliver them forever from want. For this blessed generation, satiated by the bounty of MORE!!!, we have only this benediction: We hope you fucking choke on it, you motherfuckers.